I have had so many dreams about Dad these last few days since he died. They aren't the deeply connected, "true" connection to him, though... These are always a glossy TV version, where he is somehow just beyond the reach of my fingertips.
Last night I dreamt he was walking beside me, and we were talking about mundane things, and then I realized... Wait... he died... And I was too afraid to try to reach out and hug him - I knew he would disappear. I did look at him and tell him (again) how very much I loved him, but in the dream it was as if I were alone. My love never reached him... he never reached back across my dream to me in the way that others I have lost have.
I miss him so much.
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